3 Things I Wish I Knew About Relationships When I Was 18

Relationships are fascinating. I mean think about it… Two strangers meet and say, “hey, let’s spend all our time together…” OK, so it doesn’t work exactly like that, but you know what I mean. The whole concept of relationships in general fascinates me. I think it’s because there are so many different types of relationships. You have the “perfect” couples that constantly post sappy pictures all over social media, the couples that air their dirty laundry out for everyone to see, and everything in between. I’ve been in a few relationships myself (some good, some bad), and what I’ve learned over the years is that there is no right or wrong way to be in a relationship. Everyone is different and every situation is different. When I say there is no right or wrong way to be in a relationship, I’m assuming you’re in a healthy and loving relationship. Toxic relationships are a whole different story for another time.

Don’t Compare Your Relationship to Others

Social media was kind of around when I was 18. We had Facebook at the time but that was about it. Twitter and Instagram didn’t hit the scene until my later years of college, and even when it did, it was nothing like it is today. Regardless, comparing your relationship to others is something that everyone has done at one point or another, with or without the help of social media. And it’s the worst thing you can do. One of the biggest things I’ve learned is that you never know what someone else is going through. They may seem like they have it all together, but behind closed doors they may be struggling. Comparing yourself and your relationship to others only sets unrealistic expectations. You and your partner are not those people you’re comparing yourselves to, and you never will be. And that’s OK. If you’re happy in your relationship, embrace it for what it is and stop worrying about what everyone else is doing. Once you learn to do this, you will feel much more at peace in yourself and in your relationship.

It’s OK to Hang Out with Your Friends

Sounds weird, I know. But I’m sure some of you can relate to this. You find yourself in a relationship and suddenly, you’re spending every waking moment with this person. It’s great in the beginning, but then you start to feel like you’re losing your identity. You haven’t seen your friends in weeks, and you feel bad blowing off your boyfriend to have a girl’s night. We’ve all been there. It’s a bad habit to get into, and I learned this the hard way. I lost several friends in college because I was too caught up in an unhealthy relationship. I was blinded by the “sweet talk” and companionship. If I could go back, I would have done things much differently.

Speak Up When You Have Something To Say

As girls, it’s ingrained in our being to want to please people. I guess that’s partly due to our natural motherly instincts. We want to please, protect, and care for. Now don’t get me wrong, this is a great characteristic. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to make people happy. However, sometimes you need to take a step back and put yourself first. If you’re in a relationship that’s one sided, that relationship will never last. If you don’t feel comfortable doing something, speak up. If you have a good guy, they will be completely understanding and you’ll be happy you said something. Not only is it healthy to speak your mind in a relationship, it also brings the two of you much closer together.

If I could go back to when I was 18, I would change so many things. But then again, if I hadn’t experienced those crappy relationships and made those stupid mistakes, I probably wouldn’t be where I am today.

Bottom line: Relationships are great. Just remember to stay true to yourself the entire time. If you do that, it will all fall into place.

Thanks for stopping by, friends. I hope you enjoyed and found this helpful!